Friday, 21 August 2009

Calgary Headquarters

A note from the Brass Bureau, following the relocation of their literary headquarters.

Ladies and gentlemen, after the kind of delay which usually accompanies transmissions from a nearby star system or Maoist republic federal elections, the long overdue establishment of The Brass Bureau's new Calgary headquarters at last reaches it's ripe, supple, fruit bearing state with the acquisition of new, working hardware and a reliable internet connection.

Like a pubescent teenager, we've been hard at work, shaving, washing our sheets and rooting out obscure topics of interest with unhealthy obsession. Truly, this is the golden age of smallscale internet journalism and we are more than pleased to bring our juvenile indulgences to teh internets with all the inappropriate content of a drop-in shelter washroom.

The new Bureau offices are now located in the heart of Pumphill in South Calgary. A population of 1800 and an average family net income of $93,360, a nice view of the reservoir and ample food storage for the long, cold death of winter that desolates the landscape as far as the eye can see with nothing but the sound of crunching, squeaking ice under your boots and the smell of car exhaust coupled with your own freezing, cracking sinuses to remind you that you're still alive, we are so glad to be broadcasting from this fabulous new location.

Seriously, this winter will kill us all. If you live here, you should probably apply for a passport. If you already have a passport, then you've clearly understood the death that takes this frozen hell for nine long months of the year and chosen - at least in brevity - to escape it's icy clutches.

This city is a rich, geriatric man, wracked with phlebitis and incontinence, dying of hypothermia.

Stay tuned.
Love, Herr Baksza.

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